Upriver

Water flowing. Out of the side of the raft I watched the shore move by from above to below, people standing sideways on the world. The fever raged through my cells like a California wildfire, leaving me paralyzed and hallucinating.

At one point I was convinced I was Willard, moving up the Nung River to find Kurtz - only he was a grocer and I was collecting a bill. And had to be paid in fish.

At another point along the river I screamed. I think it was just one scream, but it's very possible that I screamed for three days, I don't know for sure.

And at one point it all fragmented and broke loose. My hallucinations lost all grounding in reality and became completely abstract: enormous hexagons sang blue songs of heat, sound burned my eyes. Smells moved and shapes touched me.

I don't know how long we moved upriver before we arrived at the village - and village is the most generous possible description of where we landed. A dock that was little more than two boards nailed together and thrust out over the water. Two twig-built shacks that provided the barest shelter from the perpetual afternoon storms that blew in off the open Pacific. I suppose there must have been more to the village, other habitations hidden futher, deeper in the jungle but if there were I never saw them.

They carried me up onto the shore there, my companions from the raft. By that time my fever had diminished enough for me to recognize speech, though I could not understand the language they spoke. But it was apparent from the looks they gave me that they were asking for help, though they expected none and would not expect any assistance to do much good even if it were offered.